Heavy is the Head that Eats the Crayons

Conflict Resolution Takes One Step Back, One Hundred Steps Forward.

2009-07-30T14:43:00.010-04:00

In lieu of speeches and formal apologies, the Prez, Henry Louis Gates and Sgt. James Crowley will sit down together tonight to share a brew and put all the bad blood behind them.

If you weren't aware, Henry Louis Gates, prominent scholar and professor at Harvard was arrested by Sgt Crowley at his (Gates') home in Cambridge for "Homeowning While Black." Gates (who, all political correctness out the window here, probably loved the experience*) was incensed, demand apologies from just about everyone. Crowley refused to admit that he did anything wrong. Someone decides that the President should get involved. Oh boy... this can't end well.

But in a stroke of brilliance, BHO invited the two fellahs down for a beer. According to Joe Sixpack, Gates ordered a Red Stripe, Crowley a Blue Moon, and in an effort to impress nobody, Barry wants himself a Bud Light.

I suppose that this is where you expect me to get all uppity about the most powerful man in the world having a Bud Light, but hey: let the man pick his own beer.

What I want to know is why this isn't how all conflict resolution and diplomacy goes.

Honestly, I feel like the Bay of Pigs would be remembered as a silly prank, JFK and Kruschev laughing their butts off while Kissinger does his best Nikita impression.

Henry VIII would have resolved his conflict with Clement VII with a simple "my bad, man..." (At which point Thomas More would have made the obligatory "Bros before Hos" comment.)

Suddenly, as the Irish say, I have a great thirst.

*The man is a professor on race relations. Don't even begin to tell me that this story won't be included in every lecture for the next 10 years, a major book, and a few speeches.

For Posterity's Sake (July 27, 2009)

2009-07-27T22:53:00.003-04:00

Schedule is still a bit on the fritz, so here's another "since we left off" update in lieu of the more disciplined weekly variety.

Spent a great weekend in Philly. I think C$ summed it up best: "About #&$%ing time." No kidding.

Actually, my brain is mush and that's all I can think to write now. I'm sure there are other significant things that happened since the last update, but I can't think of them and I'm going to bed.

Let's expect better blogging after the move.

New Music: Black Joe Louis, Evan Watson, Susan Tedeschi

2009-07-21T10:00:00.005-04:00

Haven't done this in a while, but today I heard Black Joe Louis and the Honeybears on WTMD and I couldn't NOT write about them. This is music that you hope to catch on the oldies station, because it's just SO GOOD, but recently even the oldies stations have seemed to move on. Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears sound like James Brown doing a collaboration with Earth Wind and Fire and the Ides of March. Listen to Sugarfoot and be amazed. Then be very thankful that music like this is still being created and not just lying around in piles of old records.

Next is Evan Watson. The man (kid) plays the blues, not quite like Ralph Macchio in Crossroads, but still pretty good. Less shred, more lead. The vocals sound like John Mayer, if John Mayer weren't such a weenie. Fun Fact: Evan's dad teaches at the increasingly anachronistic all male Wabash College. I remember getting literature from them my senior year of high school and being amazed, gobsmacked even, that such a place still existed.

Finally, Susan Tedeschi. If you saw the sprawling, enthralling Beatles-trip-turned-into-a-movie "Across the Universe" then you know about Dana Fuchs. Susan Tedeschi is very much the same sort of Janis Joplin-esque soulful rockin' chick. Maybe even a little more rockin'. Well worth a listen.

If you heard of these artists like, a year ago, man, before they got all popular, go soak your head, you hipster scum. I don't care, and neither should you.

2009-07-17T20:41:00.000-04:00

"It is not the critic who counts, not the one who points out how the strong man stumbled or how the doer of deeds might have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred with sweat and dust and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, if he wins, knows the triumph of high achievement; and who, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat."

- Theodore Roosevelt

For Posterity's Sake (July 14, 2009)

2009-07-14T10:39:00.006-04:00

So, I kind of flaked out. Here are some highlights of the last month, relatively in chronoligical order.

Went on retreat in Malvern, PA. It was just what I needed.
Was in a conversation with someone who used the term "baby-mama" in a non-ironic way.
Finished up the baseball season. Can't wait until next year.
Started eating wheat again. I don't have celiac's, but wheat (gluten) put an unpleasant rumbly in my tumbly. After all this time of not eating wheat, I wondered if maybe it was caused by something else (like stress or an unrelated illness) and I ventured out with a bagel one fateful morning. It was DELICIOUS. I'm being careful and not just gorging myself on bread and pasta, but so far, so good.
Attended a funeral that was, by my reckoning, at least 15 years early.
Went to the HCST production of "Bye Bye, Birdie." They did a good job, but it was disappointing because I was originally told that they would be doing "Fiddler on the Roof" this year.
I had to decline to comment when a reporter called the office looking for an inside scoop. I felt so official.

Other stuff happened too. Hopefully I won't fall behind like this again.

There's a Dorney Park in Holland?

2009-06-19T14:45:00.007-04:00

"Life is not what it's supposed to be. It's what it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference. " -Virginia Satir

I have no idea who Virginia Satir is. Go ahead and google her name if you want, but I don't really care. The more important thing is what she is saying here.

Ken from CAPS once told me:

Everyone imagines that their life is going to be Disneyworld. For some people, it is. For most of us, however, life ends up being Dorney Park. If you spend all your time noticing that you aren't in Disneyworld, complaining about the inadequacies of Dorney, you'll miss out on how much fun you could be having.

Last weekend on retreat up in Malvern, Fr. Joe made a similar point:

Imagine you've dreamed your whole life of going to Rome. You go to the library and check out all the travel guides. You watch Gladiator and Roman Holiday constantly. You take Italian classes. Finally, you save up your money, make the arrangements, and get on the plane.

Finally, the plane lands, and you step out, and you're in Holland. HOLLAND? But you wanted to go to Rome! You wanted to see the Forum, Michaelangelo, St. Peter's! You spent your whole life preparing for Rome, and now you're in Holland. You can get mad all you want, but there are no more flights available, and you've spent all your money.

What do you do now? Do you gripe and moan and show everyone you meet your useless travel books and tell them your sad story? Or do you take the time to realize how beautiful the tulips are, the quaint charm of the windmills, and the magnificence of Durer and Rembrandt?

So, this is what life is. At the risk of this post being a series of quotes, "You can't always get what you want." Yet, somehow, we do seem to get what we need. I, for my part, am finished griping about Disneyworld and Rome. All that's been able to accomplish is getting me kicked out of Dorney.

Here's hoping my hand stamp hasn't rubbed off.

P.S. According to Fr. Joe, God saw that everybody was going to Holland, so he decided he'd go there too. And that's the story of the Incarnation.

The Conscience

2009-06-16T11:10:00.006-04:00

I know I didn't post an FPS yesterday. For the zero people who care, it's been a week that I still am in the process of digesting so expect a double post next week.

In the meantime, I've already shared this with a number of people, but I really want to share it with as many people as possible. At work I've been transcribing the video that was taken at a recent event here in Baltimore on Conscience Issues for Medical Professionals. The first talk, given by Janet Smith is really, really good. Not only is it good, it really speaks directly to me in a lot of ways, and I think that there are a lot of people who could really benefit from it.

While the talk is nominally directed at Medical Professionals, I find that it is probably much more beneficial to young Catholic adults, both married and single, especially all those who are at a point of change or discernment. Don't skip it if you aren't young and at an axial point of your life, however. It's really good no matter what.

Some of my favorite quotes:

Why is that we’ve decided that reading “People” every week is absolutely necessary for my life, but reading the catechism well,“That would be super-hyper-Catholic and I’m not ready to be a super-hyper-Catholic yet!”

We hear this phrase all the time—“you’ve got your opinion, I’ve got mine. Who’s to say what’s right and what’s wrong?” But a conscience is different: when we talk about the conscience, we’re talking about the voice of God. It’s not about what I think, it’s about what God thinks. It’s not what I want, it’s what God wants.

Here's the video. The talk by Dr. Smith is the first 8 videos in the playlist.

It's a full length talk, not just a youtube clip, so set some time aside. Invite someone to watch it with you. Pass it on. If you ask very nicely, I might share the full text of the talk with you.

Teh Puppies

2009-06-09T14:52:00.003-04:00

If you're interested in that sort of thing, my "little" brother has been updating a blog with pictures of the puppies and other such trifles.

http://puppies4cinders.blogspot.com

And, for the sci-fi nerds out there who are hoping that the title is an allusion to Flowers for Algernon, I regret to inform you that it is not.

For Posterity's Sake... (June 8, 2009)

2009-06-08T23:42:00.004-04:00

Another week, another post...

The biggest thing that happened is actually still going on. Our dog, Cinders, is having puppies. There is a cuteness overload in progress. The key quote comes from my youngest brother, who announced (in a slight panic) to my mom that "There is a bubble coming out of Cinders' butt!"
Worked more baseball, ate more sunflower seeds, called more strikes.
Watched a pretty great talk by Janet Smith on the conscience.
I'm in the middle of reading Quo Vadis. I started reading it many years ago, but didn't get into it. Started again, and am unable to put it down.
Found a solid cedar hope chest, which has seen better days, but with a bit of TLC and a lot of sandpaper, it should be just dandy. I plan on keeping my things in it for the next 50-60 years.

Tolerance and Acceptance?

2009-06-04T11:01:00.004-04:00

I may be paranoid, but it seems to me that intolerance is acceptable today if the object of your scorn and derision is the Catholic Church. Father Z delves into this in regards to the inclusion of Harry Knox on Obama's Faith-Based Council.

My good friend Ruben used to joke that the only things that are truly unacceptable in today's society are smoking and following the teachings of the Catholic Church. Everything else is tolerated, but if you light up or mention Humanae Vitae, prepare to get an earful.

I think Fr. Z's comment at the end of his blog post sum up what I'm getting at:

Imagine a person saying those sorts of things about Jews or Muslims.

Then try to imagine a President, of either party, appointing such a person to any position in the administration.

Civil Disobedience or Moron?

2009-06-03T16:21:00.004-04:00

First, read this story.

You may know that I've wrestled with the moral/ethical dilemma regarding the war on drugs and the legalization of drugs, but that's another argument altogether.

In this situation is the kid an idiot, or is he making a bold statement of protest? I recommend reading through the comments as well.

An Atrocity

2009-06-01T12:34:00.002-04:00

A travesty. A dirty shame.

Over at Awesomeopolis we have a monthly bracket, wherein we turn to the masses to help us sort out some matter of extreme importance, such as "Who is the most Badass Movie Villain."

Unfortunately, these polls invariably turn into more of a popularity contest, with people voting more for their favorite movies/actors than for the more truly badass villain. Right now, that is definitely the case.

Please, go and vote and try to correct this mess. The following are my personal picks:

Frank Lucas, The Jackal, The Operative, Anton Chigurh, John Doe, Verbal Kint, Annie Wilkies, Costello, and The Joker.

Go Vote!

For Posterity's Sake... (June 1, 2009)

2009-06-01T10:46:00.002-04:00

Hmmmm....

Had a touring theatre group stay at our house for a few days. Very nice people, and the littler Hills got to go to their 2 day drama class. They had a ton of fun!
Was scheduled for a full week of baseball only to have it mostly rained out. My Thursday game started clear, but then I had to call it in the 3rd inning because the Pitcher couldn't hold on to the ball. At first I thought he just had a wicked curve, and then the pitch flew about 10 feet away from the dugout. Oops.
Wrote.

Not that much else of note this week.

The First Life

2009-05-27T11:37:00.004-04:00

There were once two boys. They were twins, and they had not yet been born. Growing from small, single cells, they soon became aware of themselves, each other and the world around them. They were glad, grateful to be alive, grateful to their Mother for giving them such a wonderful place to live and grow, praising her for allowing them to share in her existence. They were grateful for the food that came to them through their cord of life, and grateful for water of life that surrounded and supported them.

However, as time went by, the one asked the other if he thought there would be life after birth.

"Of course" the other replied. "Our life right now only serves to prepare us for birth. Our mother loves us and wants to see us, wants to hold us."

"Our Mother? How can you even be sure she exists? Have you ever seen her? Has she ever spoken to you? The 'Mother' is nothing but a tale from when we were younger, the only way we could explain the world around us. Surely you are now old enough to recognize that. Besides, even if there WAS a mother, how does that prove that there will be a life after birth? After birth, we will lose everything that gives us life! Where we will get our nourishment after we are separated from our cord? How could we survive without the water that surrounds us? Neither of us have ever seen or spoken to anyone who has been born. Clearly, after birth there is nothing. That is the end."

"But if there is no Mother, where did we come from? Besides, when things are quiet, I can hear her speak to me."

"You are just imagining that. You have bought into this fairy tale to such a degree that you are imagining the story to be true, and creating an alternate reality in your brain that supports your dreams."

While it was difficult to accept, the second brother could not give answers to these very well thought out questions. He continued to believe that he had a mother, but even he knew that he only did so because it was soothing, helped him to relax and calmed his fear. His belief, as he was constantly reminded by his brother, was nothing more than a coping mechanism to deal with his fear of birth. Nevertheless, both were determined to enjoy themselves while they still could, and life went on.

The days and weeks went by, and the two boys began to notice the changes that were taking place. Not just changes to themselves; their world seemed to be getting smaller and less hospitable. It was clear that the end was near, and birth was just around the corner. Each of them became more anxious, more afraid. The days passed in silence, and neither faith in the Mother nor the cool logical surety that she was a myth could calm them. They spoke to each other sadly, reminiscing about the good times, each sad to soon be losing his best and only friend.

Finally, the day arrived. As they were being born, each writhed in agony, desperately clinging to life. They came free from the comfortable cocoon. Coughing and screaming, each breathed deeply for the first time. In the harsh glare of the light, each struggled and finally opened their eyes, and were welcomed into the warm embrace of their Mother. For the first time, each of them--both the skeptic and the believer--knew what it meant to be alive, and knew what it meant to be loved.

And they were happy.

----------------------------------------

n.b. I heard this parable last night, and wanted to share it. I am not the original author of this, but I also wasn't able to find a real source, so I wrote this particular version myself. I hope you like it.

For Posterity's Sake... (May 24, 2009)

2009-05-24T22:30:00.013-04:00

A very eventful week:

Went to the official mass to open the cause of Sanctification for Blessed Francis Xavier Seelos. I didn't know it was going on until I walked into the Basilica on Tuesday to a full house. It was very, very cool. I know cool isn't the best word for it, but it WAS cool. I also had raw oysters and a beer for lunch afterwards. It was a very good day.
For the first time, had to high-tail it out of a baseball game immediately after the last out to avoid some rowdy, irresponsible, and angry fans/parents. Also kind of cool, but in a completely different way.
Swam in the pool for the first time this summer.
Read a fair amount of Dostoevsky and wrote about it.
Listened to the new Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood live album. It is AWESOME.
Marinated a piece of beef in a mixture of beer, coke, and V8 (plus a lot of other stuff) for three days and then cooked it for about 4 hours at 200 degrees. Very tasty.
Pan fried green bananas. Ate them. Also tasty.
Last, but not least: I got a car. For zero dollars. w00t.

also, sidebar: If you didn't already know, my team blog project is now super famous. And international.

2009-05-21T10:10:00.001-04:00

For Posterity's Sake... (May 18, 2009)

2009-05-18T11:38:00.005-04:00

I've seen this on a number of other personal blogs (like C$'s) and even though it definitely delves into the realm of putting more useless boring information on the web that no one cares about, I want to do it anyway. On Mondays I'll post whatever happened in my life over the past week.

My hope is that one day my great-grandson will be exploring an old, musty corner of the internet, come across my blog, and be able to make astute observations about his heritage, such as "Wow, my great-grandfather was a dolt."

You see, I have to do this. For posterity's sake.

May 11-18

Called a lot of baseball games, in one of which I was almost completely unable to get a consistent strike zone. I blame swine flu.
Ate a lot of sunflower seeds.
Got to talk to Fr. David, which is always good.
Traveled to Front Royal, VA to watch my sister graduate Summa Cum Laude. Congratulations!
Found the ragg-wool sweater that got me through half of high school. It's as ugly as it was then, but I'll probably start wearing it as much as I did then.
While in VA for the weekend, I left the sun roof open in the car. When I got back, everything was squishier and wetter than I remember it being.

Apostles Call up Matthias

2009-05-14T08:09:00.007-04:00

In a long anticipated move, the Jerusalem Apostles have called up reliever Matthias from AAA Bethany. Sources inside the team are reporting that this move had actually been in the works for a while now, but the front office was having trouble deciding between Matthias and Joseph "Justice" Barsabbas. Barsabbas has also posted some stellar numbers and shows a lot of potential. When asked for comment, Matthias said that "it basically came down to drawing straws, but I'm glad I was chosen and I'm ready to show what I can do."

For the last month, the Apostles organization has been threadbare to say the least. If you're the only person in the area who isn't aware of these events, here's a brief recap. For three years, strong play and smart leadership had them on the cusp of a few titles, and many thought that this season would be the year to reap those rewards. Then things started to unravel. First, left fielder Judas Iscariot switched teams overnight. It was so unexpected that the rest of the Apostles didn't even know he was gone until he showed up for a key showdown wearing pinstripes. His agent, Andrew Ben-Rosenhaus, was able to get him a 30 piece of silver signing bonus, proving that everyone has their price. Immediately afterwards, Apostles GM Jesus "Christ" Bar-Joseph was indicted by a grand jury and then disappeared. There are conflicting reports as to his whereabouts, with some claiming he has died, others that he still lives.

When questioned about the Bar-Joseph issue, Simon Peter, the star closer and interim manager, hinted that he might know what Jesus was up to. "It’s impossible for death to keep a hold on him.” He also made references to the fact that Bar-Joseph was still leading the team, but when asked where he was, Peter said that where Jesus had gone, they couldn’t follow. With these confusing answers, including many non-sequiturs and obscure biblical references, many at the press conference openly implied that Peter had been drinking, even though it was only 9 am.

Nevertheless, the Apostles are on the way back up, with a strong farm system and 7 can't-miss prospects ready to be called up to the next level, including Stephen and Nicanor. There are also plans to begin recruiting foreign players. It seems this small market team still believes they can compete with the Goliaths of the league, and who knows-- maybe even win the World Series.

Happy Feast Day!

Believing is Seeing

2009-04-29T22:51:00.007-04:00

While I recognize there are better reasons to go to church, one of the things I love the most about daily mass is the short little 2-5 minute homily. It's just enough to give you something to think about without starting to bore you, and let's be honest, during a 30 minute Sunday special, none of us are immune.

All of that is building up to something I heard this past Tuesday. I wish I could properly credit the Priest, but I don't know his name, although he does say mass at the Basilica quite often. The gospel was John 6:30-35, in which the people demand a sign from Jesus in order to believe in him. Who can blame them? It's one thing to tell me that something amazing is happening, but as we all know, "seeing is believing." I remember vividly being woken up on Sept. 11, 2001 by my little brother (I was home sick from school) and I flat-out thought he was lying when he told me that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center--until I saw it on the news for myself. This mantra of "seeing is believing" is the basis of modern science and law and almost everything else: nothing can be accepted as factual until it is proven clearly and unambiguously.

Yet, Fr. Whats-his-name flipped the expression around, and I'd like to challenge you to try it on. "Believing is Seeing." For so many things, what we perceive as happening is shaped not by what we see, but by what we believe. If an atheist and a Christian (or any other theist, really) get into a discussion about the existence of God, the demand for proof invariably comes up. What a silly thing. The believer's faith in God illuminates everything, so flowers, mountains, a baby's laugh, the kindness of a stranger, even death and suffering are proofs of an omnipotent creator. For the atheist, all of those things mean nothing, and are even proof of a lack of God. In a lighter vein, I have been shown data again and again on how casino games favor the house, but anytime I get the chance, I believe that I will be able to come out a big winner.

On a more practical level, I think that "believing is seeing" has a lot of truth in the context of a relationship. When a man believes that a woman has no affection for him, even the grandest overtures of love from her will seem superficial and meaningless. If, on the other hand, he believes that she loves him, he sees evidence of this love in her subtle gestures, in the way she remembers how he likes his toast and even in her frustrated nagging. And, unlike the casino or God examples above, I would suggest that the believing in this case will have the potential to make it so--even if it were not that way before.

What do you think? Is believing seeing? Or is this way of thinking just self-delusion?

New Blog!

2009-04-11T15:09:00.003-04:00

For a while now, some friends and I have been working on a new joint-effort multi-author blog-website. Today, it went live!

http://www.awesomeopolis.com

There will be articles on science, politics, music, sports, and everything. To get a better idea as to what it's about, I'd recommend reading the opening post that Matt wrote. Expect an article from me sometime in the next week.

I'll probably be phasing out my "Things That Are Awesome" as most of those posts will end up on the new project, and a fair amount of the stuff that would have otherwise appeared here will end up there as well. drewhill83.blogspot.com will continue to be around, mostly for things that would probably be only interesting to people who know me personally.

What are you waiting for? Check it out!

The Most Important Thing You Will Read This Year?

2009-03-23T09:53:00.003-04:00

I certainly think so.

"Afflicted" With Fertility? by George Weigel

Please read, and let me know what you think.

Games that make you smarter.

2009-03-15T11:34:00.003-04:00

For every mind numbing game out there is a trivia game that favors the smart.

These games are neither, they actually make you smarter.

Guesstimation

Exactly what it sounds like. Raymond Babbitt would have been AWESOME at this game.

Globe Trotter

Think you know your own planet? Think again.

Sheep Dash

Sharpen your brain by improving your reaction time.

Ask a Catholic a Question

2009-03-12T11:14:00.005-04:00

I saw this over on American Papist, and I also thought it was a great idea.

Being Catholic, I'm aware that the Catholic Church is seen by some as backwards or out of touch, a holdover from the dark ages. Going to a protestant high school and a secular university, I heard all sorts of criticisms and negativity aimed at the Church, as well as bewilderment, confusion, and misunderstanding. For example, many people don't know that the Church is "cool" with evolution.

Therfore, I'd like to open up this blog for "Ask a Catholic a Question." I obviously don't know it all, but over the years I've becoming rather adept at finding the answers--and the ACTUAL answers, not just someone's opinion. That being said, I'd also be happy to simply offer my opinion if you are more interested in that.

Have at me!

To Swing or Not to Swing...

2009-03-09T23:42:00.009-04:00

...that is the question: whether 'tis nobler in the batter's box to offer at the ball, or suffer it to pass thee by...

In my perusal/study of the official rules of baseball in preparation for my umpire's exam, I came across these two gems:

3.02 No player shall intentionally discolor or damage the ball by rubbing it with soil,rosin, paraffin, licorice, sand-paper, emery-paper or other foreign substance.

Licorice? Seriously? This has been a problem? And the language of this next one is absolutely fantastic.

5.03 The pitcher shall deliver the pitch to the batter who may elect to strike the ball, or who may not offer at it, as he chooses.

Inconceivable

2009-03-02T18:02:00.003-05:00

I recently read this article about a man who was wrongly imprisoned for almost 10 years before a judge overturned his conviction. The article presents a few interesting questions, most notably liability of the state/government in the case of wrongful convictions. The man is suing the Fort Collins, CO police and prosecutors for the irreparable harm done to his life via this time spent in the slammer.

Is the city liable? As much as my heart wants to say yes, my brain says no. No one can argue that this man's life isn't in shambles due to the error made by the law and order of his home town, but like it or not, that's our justice system. They can only go on what they see, and they have to do the best they can. Mistakes, like it or not, are going to happen.

That aside, I've been thinking about this article for three days now, and not about the liability issue. I can't imagine what it would be like to sit in prison for something you actually didn't do. Like Andy Dufresne, this man DID NOT COMMIT the crime, yet still had to sit in jail for almost 10 years. That is truly inconceivable to me. I don't know that I would be able to handle it. I'm sure that eventually I would settle into my new reality, but at first, it might actually drive me insane. Locked up for something you didn't do, after already having your day in court, and serving out a sentence that seems impossible to get out of.

I can think of almost nothing that would be more torturous.

Are We Having Fun Yet?

2009-03-01T13:34:00.005-05:00

"This is the time of fulfillment. The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news.

Today's the first Sunday of Lent. Our liturgical texts refer to it as a joyous season. So our Lenten question is: "Are we having fun yet?" As days grow warmer and longer and hints of spring appear, our Lenten journey's purpose is to help us leave behind our darkness and advance towards the bright joy of Easter."

It's a good reminder that Lent is not a build up to Good Friday, it's a preparation for Easter. Yes, Good Friday is an important part of that, but it's not the end of the story :)

(p.s... it's also very convenient that Fr. Lacey posts the full text of his sermons on the internet)

Lent Me Tell Ya Somethin'

2009-02-26T23:59:00.006-05:00

My seasonal puns are really getting awful.

Today I worked downtown, which is always enjoyable. It also affords me the privilege of going to mass here instead of here.

In the homily, Fr. Dauses mentioned that a lot of people see lent as a very dour, sad, somber period, and that this view isn't really all that accurate. "Instead, try to think of lent as renovating a house. At the beginning, everything is a disaster and you're not sure you'll ever get out the mess you've created. But, with hard work and consistent effort, you really turn the house into something great, something much better than it was before."

I don't know about you, but I really like that thought, especially in the wider lens of any sort of self-improvement undertaking. Sure, it's rough and messy, but it's definitely worth it.

I think this "snippets of lenten homilies" could become a regular occurrence. What do you think?

Ash Me About My Dirty Forehead

2009-02-25T08:20:00.005-05:00

woo, pun.

Today, as you may know, is Ash Wednesday. At mass this morning, Fr. Joe (who spent something like 20 years as a priest in India) told us an old hindu proverb that I'd like to share.

"If you have two coins, use one to buy bread to feed the poor, and use the other to buy hyacinths to feed your soul."

If you're willing to make the stretch that doing something for your soul = prayer, and you notice that none of the money went to buy food for yourself, you have the three lenten activities: Prayer, Fasting, and Almsgiving.

Also, don't you think the title of this post would make great buttons to pass out to people after they leave church on Ash Wednesday?

Look What I Made

2009-02-23T18:36:00.005-05:00

Just delivered this, it's an armoire for a little girl's dress-up clothes. Cash money, baby.

I'm finalizing plans right now for my stackable tetramino bookshelves. Pictures to come.

I <3 The Constitution

2009-02-20T10:36:00.003-05:00

This is really a question/plea for an explanation from someone who knows more about this than I do.

Why is Barack Obama giving a "State of the Nation" address instead of a "State of the Union?" Or, why are they calling it "State of the Nation" on facebook?

I recognize that in the case of the United States, the Union and the Nation are one and the same, but that doesn't mean that the terms are interchangeable. As time marches on there is less and less about America that resembles the country that our revolutionary ancestors were trying to create. They distinctly wanted to create a union of independent, sovereign states-- not a single nation.

Quakers 62, Tigers 55

2009-02-17T21:38:00.009-05:00

I'd like to add this to the things I've said about Glen Miller: Under his leadership, Penn has never lost to Princeton.

Unfortunately, Glen, this isn't Ohio State-Michigan, so we need a little bit more to be happy, but your success against the puddy-tats has not gone unnoticed. Thanks.

P.S. Watching this is like crack for me.

I'm on to you, Streakmaster...

2009-02-13T16:06:00.008-05:00

I've been playing ESPN's Streak for the Ca$h (rules/description) for about a month or two now, and I'd started to get the impression that I was being had. It seemed to me that whenever a matchup looked promising and I thought it was a no-brainer, I would invariably lose. It really irked me, but instead of being irked, I decided to do a bit of analysis.

Here was my hypothesis: The Streakmaster (the guy who decides what match-ups will be up on the board) is actively trying to deceive us, the players. He purposely chooses things that will incite a large amount of people to choose incorrectly. If he chooses something that looks like it will be a blowout, such as a ranked college basketball team with 4 losses going against an unranked team with double-digits in the L column, expect an upset. A big name golfer against a nobody? You can bet the Streakmaster is the only one who knows that the favorite just broke his left hand but is hiding it.

So, I looked back over all the matchups in the month of February. I only looked at matchups where there was a clear favorite (being chosen by 60% or more of the entries), and kept track of whether the matchup was labled as Hot, Warm, or Cold. (Hot, Warm, and Cold refer to how many people overall are making a pick on that particular matchup.) Here is what I discovered:

In matchups where there is a clear favorite, the favorite LOSES 55% of the time. When the favorite enjoyed a 90% or more advantage in the picks, it was worse: they lost 57% of the time. When the matchup was "hot" AND the favorite had 90% or more of the votes, the winning percentage was only 26%.

Another interesting point: In "hot" matchups where the favorite was only receiving 60%-70% of the votes, the winning percentage was a whopping 71%. I'll post my findings below, see what conclusions you come to.

Chart Guide: the percentages refer to the winning percentage of the favorite. The numbers at the top of the first chart and along the side of the third chart represent the percentage of votes going toward the favorite.

So, overall, I think the streakmaster IS trying to lure us into making bad picks. But then again, they're giving away a million bucks, so they don't want to make it toooo easy, do they?

Sports New Year's Day

2009-02-10T10:27:00.010-05:00

It's a thing. Get on board.

The idea came to me yesterday while trying to think of ways to avoid Valentines Day. Really, who needs a made up holiday? I resolved that instead of sulking around and thinking about being alone and heartbreak and girls on the 14th, I would spend the day celebrating the rebirth of hope: 37 pitchers and a handful of catchers, all decked out in orange and black, reporting to Orioles' spring training in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.

Thanks to ESPN and the NFL Network, we all know that the Monday morning after the Super Bowl, everyone is undefeated. We still drag our feet, however, and wait until the Pro Bowl before calling it quits on the football season. It's all trade rumors and retirement announcements until the combine and the draft. We know when the Sports Year ends. It ended this past Sunday.

Sure, you can argue that Sports keeps on keepin' on because you can still flip on the boob tube and catch the Buick Open or some College Basketball (or, if you're really desperate, the NBA), but those are just filler. No one really gets excited about the NBA until the playoffs, and while College Basketball is always exciting, right now the more serious fans are looking forward to things like rivalry week and bracket busters, and everyone else is gearing up for March. Furthermore, an active season (say, Winter) didn't keep Gregory from making January 1st the start of the new year, so I'm not going to let basketball and hockey stop me either. And the same goes for all those Euro sports like soccer and rugby. Football just died, Baseball is about to be born. It's a new year.

So why put Baseball in the position of being the harbringer of the new year? Because baseball is America. Basketball and football are distinctly American, yes, but baseball is America. I was never a great player, but I put in my time as a little leaguer and I own a glove. You do too. Something about the crack of the bat, the smell of fresh cut grass, the snap of a leather ball into a leather mitt, it makes you think of "the good ol' days" even if you have no idea what that means. While other sports have evolved, a baseball game from 2007 looks a lot like a baseball game from 1907. Uniforms still have belts and buttons. It's kind of common knowledge that football players have used steroids and other PEDs, but people let it slide. Baseball doesn't get off the hook so easily, because baseball is sacrosanct. We watch football for big hits and touchdowns, and we like to see incredible athletic specimens, almost superhero abilities. When we see a guy like David Wells or Dustin Pedroia however, we know that any one of us could be a professional baseball player, and the idea that someone is cheating is unacceptable. Quick--and no googling: name the guy who broke the color barrier in any sport besides baseball. Baseball is baseball, and even with declining ticket sales and low nielsen ratings, it holds a special place in the heart of the American sports fan.

And this Saturday (or Friday or Sunday, depending on your team) it all starts again. If you're from a city like Baltimore, it's time to see if all these prospects will pan out, and who knows, even win a few games. If you're from Philly, it's time to start defending that title. The Yankees have to make good on all that money they've spent, and the Cubbies have another year to try and not break everyone's heart. Your football team is undefeated, your College Basketball team still has a shot at the Final Four (unless it plays in the Ivy League), and the best is yet to come in the NBA and NHL. The Masters, Wimbledon, it's all on the horizon.

Getting back to the point of all this: It's a new year, folks. Just like there is Chinese New Year and Jewish New Year, starting in 2009, the weekend that pitchers and catchers report to spring training marks the beginning of the Sports Year. I'm imagining greeting cards that say "Happy Sports New Year" and SNYD2K9 parties. New Years resolutions like:

"This Sports Year, I will spend more time actually watching football and less time updating my fantasy roster."

"I will show my appreciation for golf by watching events that Tiger isn't participating in."

"I will spend more time teaching my kid to catch and less time trying to teach Chad Ocho Cinco to catch by yelling at him through the TV screen."

"Instead of getting mad at the refs, I will sign up to referee youth basketball."

Happy New Year. It's a thing. Get on board.

WTF UPenn MBB?

2009-02-07T21:28:00.012-05:00

I hate to admit it, but after this weekend's miserable performances against Cornell and Columbia, I hope that the University of Pennsylvania's Men's Basketball program doesn't win another game this year. Kind of a weird wish from someone who only missed about 4 or 5 home games over the four years I was an undergrad, someone who was infatuated with T-Begs, Ibby, Zoller, and even Brian GRAND-ee-AIR-ee. Right now, the magic is gone.

Quite bluntly, I miss Fran, and Glen Miller has to go. NOW. If a miserable season for the Quakers will make that happen, I'm for it. An uninterrupted string of embarrassing losses will bring us closer to replacing the current holder of the John R. Rockwell chair with someone who is actually capable of putting together a respectable basketball team. I need to see a GOOD team play home games in the Cathedral of Basketball. And no, I'm not talking about St. Joe's.

I recently emailed fellow fans over at FGM (whose title I initially disagreed with) about a highly successful basketball coach who might be looking for a job, and after this weekend I feel even stronger. For a program in the NCAA top-ten for all-time wins, we can't be this bad. It's time for a change, it's time to put an end to this travesty. Losses to teams like Princeton or even Cornell are OK,* but not Columbia and Dartmouth.

BTW: Glen, if you are conceited enough to search the web to see if people are writing about you, here are my problems:

Stop yelling at your players. They aren't the ones who stink, and if they are, it's your fault for recruiting them.

Stop whining and throwing little tantrums when the officials make a call that you aren't in love with. They are, by and large, the same officials that watched Penn roll off their string of Ivy League Titles, so it's not their fault either.

And finally, to anyone who might argue that Glen isn't that bad of a coach, just look at the team he's responsible for and their record. He's either a miserable coach or a miserable recruiter, and either one is unacceptable.

*not really.

A Time to Pray...

2009-02-03T13:36:00.010-05:00

Sorry to everyone who wasn't expecting to see something religious and Jesusish.

There are a lot of people out there, a lot of close friends of mine, who are reeling right now from this news. Right now, it's only on the Catholic blogs, but I'd imagine it's going to hit the secular news soon.

It's not an easy thing to accept. I've been "out" for a few years now, but it's still rather shocking to me. More than shocking, it's REAL. You can ignore allegations of abuse, you can look past concerns of manipulation and control and money laundering, but a human being with fingerprints and breath and a name and DNA is very, very REAL.

However, I don't claim to be able to add anything to the news, add anything to the debate and comments that are flaming up certain corners of the internet right now. I'm just asking you, whatever stranger or friend might be reading this, to say a prayer for the many Priests, Seminarians, Consecrated Men and Women, good families, good people whose lives are being radically upended right now. This is only the beginning, who knows what the upcoming days and months hold.

Once again, these are really good people who are in a really tough place right now. Pray for them, pray for those whose decisions affect them.

---------

UPDATE: More credible/traditional source

UPDATE # 2: EVEN MORE CREDIBLE

My day, in comic form.

2009-02-01T23:20:00.015-05:00

Click each image to view.

Hourly Comic Day!

2009-01-31T14:29:00.002-05:00

So, tomorrow is Hourly Comic Day. I'm not a webcomicist, but for tomorrow, this seems like a fun idea.

Also, to my friends out there: you should do one too. That would be neat-o. Then, we can all laugh at each other.

Please, explain this to me...

2009-01-29T16:46:00.003-05:00

This is really an excellent speech by our new President. He gave it during the campaign, but it's a theme he hasn't dropped. I'm really glad that we have a president who puts such an emphasis on family and personal responsibility. However, I'm not sure how his comment at about 3:55 can be justified with this.

Music and sich

2009-01-27T13:53:00.005-05:00

I haven't made any music recommendations for a while, but today I think I'll do just that.

First, new Franz Ferdinand Album!

I first heard of these fine gents during my 2 year sojourn in Eire. The first album was quite phenomenal, but I felt the second was a bit, well, flat. dead. recycled. Well, the time for poo-pooing is over, Tonight is awesome. It's upbeat, it's spunky, it's fun. In a time when a lot of people might be down, these songs are positively UP. The tracks are more "Take Me Out", less "Eleanor Put Your Boots Back On." I read a review somewhere that said something along the lines of "indie rock goes to the disco," which is really a perfect way to sum this up and I wish I had thought of it first.

However, for those of you like the more soulful, laid back Franz Ferdinand, I also have some recommendations for you. On the new album, look for "Dream Again"" and "Katherine, Kiss Me." But those aren't the best ones out there. Unfortunately, most of these songs are floating around in obscurity or on the B-sides of singles, so unless you are a dedicated internetter (or you are friends with me) you might have trouble getting your hands on these songs:

Swallow, Smile

Ghost In a Ditch

Missing You

L. Wells

Wine in the Afternoon

These are some truly great tunes, and I cannot recommend them highly enough. My favorite by far is "Wine in the Afternoon." A few of them can be found on this new website called "YouTube."

Another recommendation (and I feel kind of dirty for this) is a song/artist I heard on top 40 radio last night: Rock & Roll by Eric Hutchinson. As much as I hated to admit it, the tune was catchy and the lyrics weren't moronic. I went and poked around, and the rest of the album (Sounds Like This) is also thoroughly enjoyable. Recommended songs: "Oh", "Ok, It's Alright With Me" and "Outside Villanova". Eric reminds me of Gavin DeGraw and the UK band Dogs Die in Hot Cars, except his weapon of choice is the Guitar, not the Piano.

And finally, Eric Clapton and B.B. King made a record back in 2000 called "Riding with the King." I wish I had two more arms so that I could give it 4 thumbs up.

Aliens?

2009-01-26T00:26:00.005-05:00

TO preface this, I've been reading a lot of science fiction lately. More than I have ever read before (and this includes the semester when I took a class called "Science and Literature.")

I was looking up at the stars, and I was struck with the immensity of the Universe and the inconceivable amount of stars that are out there. As I was looking at the three stars that make up Orion's belt, I couldn't help but wonder what constellation our own sun would be a part of from the vantage point of ζ Ori (Alnitak).

A quick google search says there are at least 70 sextillion stars in the universe. That's 70,000 million million million, or 7 with 22 zeroes after it. That's a hell of a lot of stars. I've heard/read that the fact that life exists on our own planet is due to a remarkable combination of many factors, the distance of our earth from the sun, the fact that our planet has a carbon rich crust, with water and an oxygen rich atmosphere, blah blah blah, and the many series of developments that we now refer to as evolution and random collisions of specific atoms and molecules that eventually formed life. The chance of these things happening once is slight, the chance of it happening twice is even less likely.

Nevertheless, 70 sextillion? And that's only the best that we've been able to count so far! Statistically, there simply HAS to be life out there. Whether or not there is intelligent life is even more remote, but once again, 70 SEXTILLION! 70,000,000,000,000,000,000,000! I'm not surmising that the universe is teeming with life, but only that at least one other planet has intelligent (or at least sentient) life on it. I'm sure that someone could crunch the numbers and come up with the probability of life exisiting on another planet, but to my guess, given the number of other stars (each with potentially its own system of planets) the probability has to be closer to 1 than 0.

Obviously, evolution and the big bang is only one of two theories as to the existence of life. The other is Intelligent Design/ Creation. Even still, I think it's maybe a bit proud and conceited to think that God didn't decide to create another planet with life on it. Especially not with the astronomical amount of other stars He did create.

Is there a significant argument against that would discredit this hastily thrown together argument? I'd like to see responses both from a scientific and theological perspective.

P.S. I saw a rather hilarious comic on the interweb a while back in which a man was talking with an alien and it came up that Jesus had in fact visited the other planet as well. The gist of it is that the alien says "Oh yeah, he's great. He comes by every so awesome and we hang out etc... What did you guys do when he came to visit you?" If you've seen this comic and know where I could find it, please let me know. That would be awesome.

UPDATE: Rhyno is awesome.

Food Question

2009-01-01T11:51:00.002-05:00

Would a restaurant that advertised itself as conforming to dietary restrictions (Kosher, Vegan, Gluten Free, etc...) seem less appealing to you, someone who does not follow that particular diet?

To rephrase: If you were choosing a place to eat, would you overlook a "Gluten-Free" restaurant? Or, would you give it a try and see if it was any good?

n.b. Gluten-Free = no wheat, rye, or barley. Potatoes, rice, some types of oats, and a host of other grains are OK, as are all meats, dairy, vegetables. Also, distilled spirits, even if made with wheat or rye or barley (such as scotch) are Gluten-free. The reason I ask this question is because most Gluten-free foods are also vegan, dairy-free, organic, and liberal. I want to find someplace that will serve a gluten-free bacon cheeseburger. Having been unable to find such a place, I'm thinking about whether or not a gluten-free restaurant would be profitable.

God's Sense of Humor

2008-12-29T02:49:00.002-05:00

In the Catholic Church, yesterday was Holy Family Sunday, and it got me thinking about a few things.

Why is it that God (and if you don't believe in him, fate) makes it so that the people we care about the most are also the ones we can't stand? The people you can't bear to live without are also the ones who drive you up the wall.

Maybe that's just the way it works. You can't love someone until you know them well enough to hate them. The people that we are close to are the only ones that CAN get under our skin. The rub in all of this is that we can't bear to ply ourselves away, because we know that the muddled mess of mankind that we call our family are so inherently, intrinsically tied to who we are that it would be a disaster to even try to separate ourselves. I've come to know a fair amount of different people, from diverse backgrounds and family situations, and I still have yet to meet someone who really wants nothing to do with their relatives. Even when things are at their worst, we all still know which group of people will always be there for us, and which group of people we will always be there for. It's just one of life's ironies that the people we would take a bullet for are the ones that we'd come the closest to pulling the trigger at.

C'est la vie.

Beating a Recession

2008-12-23T09:44:00.003-05:00

I already talked about this with someone, and not to belittle his answers, I want more feedback as to why my idea is stupid, because I'm still not convinced.

We (if you hadn't noticed) are in a bit of a financial pickle at the moment. Bad mortgages, a rough going in the middle east, and a number of other things are taking big swipes at our economic stability, and we're not holding up as well as we might have thought.

Now it is holiday time and the powers that be and "smart" people are advising us, the general consumer public, to go out and spend. Buy big Christmas gifts, get a car, etc... And while I understand the argument of "putting money into commerce will create jobs, create more money," I also feel like that plan creates more debt too, which is going to send us right back to another financial FUBAR before too long. Why isn't the advice we are getting from on high "financial responsibility," "Don't buy things you can't afford!" "live within your means" and "get out of debt as quickly as you can so that you will have a more stable future for yourself"???

I'm no chemist, but it seems to me that if everyone were financially stable, it would be rather tough to have a recession. It's only when debt has people on the brink of disaster that a little push can ruin things.

Skepticism and Belief

2008-12-08T08:22:00.005-05:00

For those of you who aren't Catholic, today is a Holy Day of Obligation-- one of the 10 non-sundays on which Catholics are required to go to mass. For those of you who are Catholic, hint hint.

The feast today is the Immaculate Conception-- that most ridiculous doctrine* that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was conceived free of the stain of sin. More on that here, my apologies for the quality of the source. As I was thinking about this, I was struck by a certain nuance of speech and expression. Consider the following statements:

"I can't believe the Phillies won the world series!!! That's just CRAAAAZY!!!"

and

"I can't believe Mary was conceived without sin!!! That is CRAAAAZY!!!"

The first one makes it seem like the speaker is a huge Phillies fan. The second makes the speaker sound like an atheist/skeptic. Is this due to a preconceived disdain for traditional religion, or is it more simple than that?

-----

*which, as a Catholic, I actually believe.

Changes and Shifts and WHOA

2008-12-04T10:10:00.003-05:00

So, I like posting things that are awesome to the web for my friends and stalkers to see and experience, but I also want to get all bloggy everyonce in a while and write something of substance, or at least pose interesting questions and make snarky comments about current events. I also discovered tumblr, which is a much better blog format/engine for posting awesome things.

All that being said, this will become something of a real blog, and the awesome that you know and love (?) is going to move over to HERE. I'm trying to figure out a way to import all the old awesome over to the new awesome, but in the meantime, I donno, deal with it. I'm also going to see if I can't have a little sidebar on this blog that links to the feed from the awesome, and vice versa. That would be sweet.

243.There is no need to tell anyone you are leaving the bar.

2008-11-25T23:41:00.005-05:00

This guy has made a list of rules for his yet unborn son. A totally cool tumblog. I highly recommend reading it all the way through and then subscribing to it so you catch the new ones.

If I was feeling more creative right now, I would probably write more about this. Suffice to say that it is all really good advice, some serious, some less so, but if his son lives up to these rules, that's a guy I'd want my future son to be friends with.

http://rulesformyunbornson.tumblr.com

EDIT:

As has been pointed out, some of these rules are BS. Such as # 14. I personally don't think #107 is all that important. Please inform me of any others that need to go.

Another Game: CHUCK!

2008-11-19T22:24:00.004-05:00

Do you ever have to desire to throw tiny people for distance? Shoot them out of a cannon? Play tiny-person-throw golf? Really? You need to go see a licensed Psychiatrist.

Seriously, though, this is a great game. Inane, weird, a little twisted, but great. Avoid playing if you have recently given birth to a child or have acquired a circus cannon or both.

Tell me your high score and your favorite event.

CHUCK!!!

My Favorite Athletes

2008-11-13T12:40:00.006-05:00

I really like sports. I grew up playing tee-ball, soccer, basketball, lacrosse, floor hockey, just about anything I could sign up for. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not very good, and never really was, but that didn't stop me from enjoying the crap out it all. Fast-forward to me at 25, and while my sporting life is considerably more sedentary, my love of competitive activity has not diminished.

What really cranks my cerebral cortex, however, is the greed and selfishness that accompany it all. Angry parents, training camp holdouts, Drew Rosenhaus, and steroids ruin all that is good about sports, and turn it into little more than reality TV. Do we really want to turn on ESPN to watch T.O. complain about how McNabb isn't throwing him the ball? If I wanted to see someone complain about not being appreciated, I would watch day-time soap operas. At least I can take comfort in the fact that those story lines are fake.

When did athletes get together and decide that being paid actual money to play what is--and the sports nut in me hates to admit it--a recreational activity, a game, something real people do to relieve stress? My mind goes to a middle aged nurse, who worked her butt off to become an RN, then has changed bed-pans, put up with arrogant doctors, supported children, been puked on and peed on, has no hope for an early retirement and looks forward to the 30 minutes each day after her kids have been put to bed that she has to herself. What gives Kobe Bryant the right to demand a trade, demand more money, demand ANYTHING???

Which brings me to my favorite athletes. Today, there was an article on ESPN about Chad "Johnson" Ocho Cinco. For years, he has been one of the biggest offenders of the self aggrandizing athletic asses. After raising a stink this past off season, he has suddenly become a respectful human being. He credits Ray Lewis and Donovan McNabb for helping him to understand how many people look up to him, how lucky he is to be a professional athlete, etc... Ray Lewis I have liked for many years, Donny Mac I now have a new appreciation for.

A professional athlete who recognizes how lucky he or she is to be in that position is a delight to cheer for. Sure, they worked hard to get where they are, but there is a certain amount of God-given talent (or randomly mutated talent genes for the atheists among us) that they can't really take credit for, and a host of talented people who never had those same opportunities. Jamie Moyer, Ray Lewis, Donovan McNabb, Cal Ripken, Kevin Durant, Olaf Kolzig, and I realize I'm beginning to sound like something of a homer, but these guys get it.

I'd like to open the floor now for nominations. Who have I missed? Who deserves to be on this list? I'm not looking for pros who have given money away, a lot of that is for taxes and further self-adulation. Which athletes have really been grateful for where they are, appreciate their good fortune, and are happy to be able to play the game they love?

Another Awesome Game

2008-11-12T18:48:00.003-05:00

If you've ever played 30,000 (the dice game) then you will love this game, and your last name is probably Hill. For those of you who haven't played 30,000, you've been missing out. Zilch is essentially the same, with a few minor modifications. The object is to be the first to score 10,000 points (unlike the eponymous 30,000) using combinations of dice rolls.

The scoring is simple. A (1) scores 100 points, a (5) scores 50, and 3 of a kind (or more) scores that number x 100 (i.e. 3 (2)'s scores 200 points). 4 of a kind scores more, etc... If all your dice score, you get to start again and keep your accumulated points. As soon as you've scored 300 points, you have the option of banking those points and letting the other player go. There are a few other things, but you'll pick them up as you play.

The trick is being able to quit while you're ahead. If you roll without scoring any points, you lose them all (for that turn).

This flash based incarnation of the game is very well executed, with three different difficulties, online play, and one-on-one offline play.

Whoopee! enjoy Zilch

Pool + Marbles + Elimination

2008-09-08T20:02:00.003-04:00

This is a rather enjoyable game, perfect for randomly clicking while you are sitting on hold, and also a lot of fun if you are paying attention.

One of the things I really like about it is the rather accurate (theoretical) physics involved. Admittedly, I haven't really studied physics since highschool, which was a disturbingly long time ago, but it seems right to me.

The goal is to knock all of the computer's marbles off the board before you lose your marbles. If you do this four times, you advance to the next level. Seems simple, but each game you win, you lose one off the board for the set up of the next game. It gets tougher and tougher. Eventually, it becomes nigh impossible, as you have to knock off 8 with only 2... but (theoretically) it can be done.

Scoring goes like this-- you get points for knocking off marbles, and lots of points for knocking off more than one at a time. Then, at the end of a game, you get points for having marbles left on the board, and lots of points for having lots of marbles left on the board. The points for having marbles left at the end is significantly greater than knocking down enemy marbles, so keep that in mind when you're trying to run up the score. I've got a few strategies that are probably immensely flawed, but I'll share them with you if you ask me.

I'm too lazy to fully explain the scoring values, but you'll get the hang of it or you'll tabulate it out yourself or you'll ask PiFry. My high score is 70440. Let me know if you can do better, and if you can, how you did it, because I keep getting stuck.

PLAY!

WHAT IS GOING ON!??!?!?!

2008-09-01T16:45:00.003-04:00

This is totally bizarre. I've had a growing number of hits on the ol' blag recently from places like poland, the UK, mexico, all over the US o' A, all with the referring URL being the picture of a burrito I linked to in THIS POST.

WHAT? WHY? If any of you who have stumbled on to this little piece of Awesome by way of a bitmapped burrito would enlighten me as to my new found popularity, I would be most eternally appreciative. Just tell me how so many of you are being linked to me-- my curiosity is about to kill a few cats.

The internet is crazy.

Cruciverbalists and Their Work

2008-08-29T17:54:00.004-04:00

... the more you know!

Beards are Awesome

2008-08-26T13:33:00.005-04:00

My apologies to my reader(s) for the extreme amount of temporal distance that has passed between the last post and this one. Moving on.

If you like beards, like I do, you will appreciate this. If you like the odd personalities that are all over the internet, you will also like this.

A few years ago, I decided that I was going to grow a beard. It seemed like something that as a man I SHOULD do, not just could do. So I did. I realize now that I have set my goal too low. This man has set out on a quest to grow every beard on the above chart of facial hair types. He's doing pretty well, too. I hope he recants on his profession that it is impossible to grow the Super Mario beard, because growing that one would be awesome.

LINK

I also recommend the general reading of his blog, an exercise/exploration of softcore "hobography", where in addition to things of a bearded nature, he also talks about such erudite things as nerd parties and the current skin cancer debates.

Big Brother Is Watching...

2008-07-17T14:30:00.003-04:00

Didn't your mom tell you that fingers don't belong in noses?

As Yakov Smirnoff might say, "Here in dis country, you get directions. In Soviet Union, directions GET YOU!"

Ha ha ha. Yakov, you slay me. But seriously. Google's totally awesome, potentially creepy maps program offers satellite imagery, which might show things that you might otherwise not notice about say, your neighbors garage. Even creepier is StreetView, which is fine if you are trying to take a look at an apartment you saw on craigslist or point out the change in south philly from the italian market to the mexican district without getting phillycarshare and actually heading down there, but it can also show anyone in the world a picture of your neighbors sitting on the porch. Whoa.

I now direct your attention to StreetViewFun, a fantastic bit of user driven webberspace that shows the interesting things that bored net-users (such as you) have found while clicking through Google StreetView.

Enjoy, but don't blame any lost productivity on me. Blame it on your phonesaber. Or faceball.

P.S. Let's not talk about the guy in the StreetView video. Or his taste in long sleeve shirts. Or awkward, forced gesturing.

I love WaWa

2008-07-14T21:25:00.007-04:00

If you love Wawa, and you live in philadelphia, you will find this to be as awesome as I do. Just for fun, I went on the Wawa webpage and did a search for Wawa's in a 20 mile radius of Penn. The picture speaks for itself. This picture just makes me happy.

For those of you who currently live by a Wawa or have ever had that distinct privilege, what is your favorite part about Wawa?

Updated Awesomeness

2008-07-04T00:12:00.005-04:00

So, you may or may not remember a previous post about a man who, after his wife of 45 years left him, decided to literally divide everything he owned in half. I was sad that I couldn't offer a picture to go with that, but now, I have found a picture, and would like to share it with you.

It's of our man Branko currently in the act of bifurcating what seems to be a farm implement of sorts. I wonder what he did with the saw when everything else he had was split in twain...

PICTURE

T-shirts

2008-06-17T21:11:00.006-04:00

So, I like fun t-shirts. Between threadless, split reason, and woot, there are various websites that allow one to have a say on what shirts can be printed. Right now there are various shirts that can be voted on, and these are the ones that get the "Things That are Awesome" seal of approval:

A Pretty Awesome Way to Start the Day

2008-06-17T13:25:00.007-04:00

I recently stumbled upon this here website. I don't know what an alpha-cow is, whether it's related to an alpha-male or is some sort of greek bovine. I do know that at www.alpha-cow.com, there is a new picture up everyday. Sometimes really funny, sometimes kind of funny, sometimes kind of weird, sometimes really weird. It gets the day started on the right foot. It kind of goes like this.

"Man... I'm unemployed and I have a weird infection that might consume my flesh. This stinks. On the bright side, I can tell the difference between a Baby and a Burrito, so things are looking up!"

Does anyone know where Mountain View is? I suppose it might be near Atherton. Also, does anyone know what an alpha-cow is?

--------------

9/03/08 (or 03/09/08 for non-american humans)

UPDATE: I have recently had a ton of hits to this particular post. Roughly 40 a day. From all over the world. I can tell that they are coming from a google image search, apparently directed towards my linked image of a burrito. If you are one of the people seeing my blog via a google image search, Could you give me some sort of hint as to why there are so many hits coming my way? I'm dying of curiosity.

My New Career

2008-06-15T11:28:00.004-04:00

Click Here

and then here and here.

and finally, Here.

I'm pretty sure that would be able to pay for a car, an apartment, and "business trips" up to New York for supplemental income.

SPOON

2008-06-03T13:14:00.007-04:00

(Another "Music Monday" post that is actually occurring on Tuesday. Bleeargh)

This band is not new, and has not released a new album, but I feel like most of my friends/strangers who read my blog probably haven't heard of them, and they have a sweet name (right, 01dfeet?)

They hail from the frigid, barren tundra known as "Austin, Texas," but are not even remotely country, western, or even country-western. Austin, despite being in Texas, and the site of a University whose mascot is a type of Cow, is in fact a hotbed (or even an agar dish) when it comes to music of all shapes, sizes, flavors and genres.

Spoon is a band that I became familiar with a few years ago (a few meaning roughly one and a half) when I heard some really catchy tunes whilst watching Stranger than Fiction.* I remember thinking to myself "Self, these are some really good songs. You should go and get the soundtrack when it comes out." Then the song "The Way We Get By" came on and i said "pshh... forget waiting for the sound track. I need this music now."

They've been around for a while now. A little research tells me that they were formed in 1993, with their first full length LP coming in '94. Spoon's songs are very hook-laden, making them quite catchy and also quite soundtrackable. In addition to The OC and Stranger than Fiction, you may have heard some of their music on Veronica Mars, Bones, Chuck, or the Simpsons.

I've never heard the earlier albums, but I heartily recommend the later stuff. Check out either the YouTubes or the iTunes for these songs: The Underdog, I Turn My Camera On, The Way We Get By, Car Radio, Lines in the Suit.

*Apparently, if I had been watching "The O.C." (which, I am proud to say, I was not) I would have heard of this band earlier.

I have no idea what to say...

2008-05-28T20:09:00.002-04:00

I understand this is a break from "awesome"

still...

I am dumbfounded.

Weezer - Red Album

2008-05-27T12:42:00.015-04:00

Apparently, sometimes it can really drain your creative juices to write a new album filled with good songs. In this case, it can be difficult to come up with cover art and a catchy album title, so it is allowed to release the album as just the name of your band. Weezer has now done this THREE TIMES! Their first album was self titled, with a blue cover. Later they released another self titled album, with a green cover. They must have then hired some one who knew about "art" and "marketing," because a few of their albums have actual names and cover designs. That guy has seemingly been either fired or incapacitated, as the newest Weezer offering is once again self-titled, and the cover art consists of a picture of the band on a red background.

The Red Album totally rocks. Not only did Weezer turn up the awesome in the facial hair department, they have maintained the power nerd rock that we have come to know and love. Pork and Beans, the first single, opens with the lines

They say
I need some Rogaine

To put in my hair

The nerds that used to play DnD in the "grage" have gotten older, but haven't really grown up -- which is fine with me.

If you go to the 5pm mass at St. AJ's, or really any church anywhere, you might recognize the opening bars of track 2. (I'm not going to spoil it for you, find out for yourself.)

"Heart Songs" is very personal... it's about the music that the band (or probably just Rivers Cuomo) listened to before they started making their own music. It's a really nice song, not power rock like the rest of the album, but still very good.

The album hasn't been released yet, but you can get the single "Pork and Beans" now. Buy that if you have the coin, and don't pass up the opportunity for a "sneak peek". I give the record 4 out of 5 notes (♪♪♪♪o).

-----------

UPDATE: Totally check out the music video for "Pork and Beans." It is totally awesome. ♪♪♪♪♪

The Future is Awesome.

2008-05-16T11:32:00.009-04:00

The future is also right now.

If given the choice between living in the past or living in the future, I am the kind of person who would choose the past. Things like farming, the old west, cavemen, the battle of hastings, etc... all seem to provide a more interesting life than flying cars and soylent green. Nevertheless, the future provides some really interesting things that I definitely hope I will be able to see. (Which is fortunate, because living in the past is not what we in the present would call "possible".)

I've always assumed that certain things are very far away, temporally speaking. Terraforming (converting other planets to make them able to support life), regular space travel, teleportation and such do not seem to be on the verge of realization. Other things, such as the internet, instant translators, and cars that you can talk to have already occurred. Right between far-fetched and already existing lies "the cusp," and apparently Androids are there.

Which brings me to this blog post. I saw a link for a video promising to show Asimo, Honda's long in development robot, conducting an orchestra. This, I believed. You can program a mechanical device to keep time - metronomes have been around forever. But when I watched the video, I saw something else all together. I still am not entirely convinced that this is not a child in a suit. It's so real looking. Sure, it's not Leonard Bernstein, but IT'S A ROBOT! HOLY CAMOLEY! THIS IS HAPPENING! RIGHT NOW! THIS IS NOT A SCIENCE FICTION MOVIE!

Some more footage of Asimo:

Conducting, Dancing, Working as a summer intern

Finally, because I know you are a huge nerd and want more details about this little hunk of robot, some technical information.

P.S. Honda claims that the name "Asimo" is not a reference to Isaac Asimov, science fiction author and inventor of the three laws of robotics, but I think they are full of it. Discuss.

P.P.S. I know I haven't updated the blag in a while, and I know I missed 2 music mondays. Sue me.

KWYJIBO!

2008-05-05T10:35:00.011-04:00

Attention all people who appreciate things that are awesome:

If you already know about a lot of awesome things, you probably already know about www.woot.com. I'm not going to do a whole review of woot, but here's the 50¢ tour. They sell one item every day at an absurd discount, generally some sort of electronic gizmo. At midnight central time (1am eastern) every day, a new item goes up for sale until it either sells out or is replaced the next day by the new item du jour. About a year ago they started selling one t-shirt a day as well. Every week they have a contest (called the derby) where people can submit t-shirt designs based on a theme. The submissions are then voted on by the teeming masses, and the winners get their shirt printed and some sort of compensation. Sometimes the winning shirts are cool, sometimes not. Generally, the shirts that I really like don't get printed, and that makes me sad.

All of that is essentially a set up for this: Go log into www.shirt.woot.com, and click on the link for the derby, and vote for the "kwijibo" shirt. The contest theme for this week was the alphabet, so every shirt had to include every letter of the alphabet once and only once. Of course, if you know me well, you know that there are three things that involve the alphabet that I love: Scrabble, Crossword Puzzles, and Text Twist (wow, I'm such a dork). The Kwyjibo shirt involves the first of those three things, and I want it. Unfortunately, it's not getting enough votes, so I'm calling on you to vote for it. For many of the people that I know read this blag already, you would probably want to buy this shirt yourself, so tell your friends to vote too.

If you are having trouble finding where to vote, here it is: KWYJIBO

P.S. Bonus points for pointing out any other things about this shirt that make me love it. Bonus points will be awarded on a case by case basis, and can be redeemed as the winner sees fit. Entries for bonus points must be posted in the comments section, because I like it when people post comments. It makes me feel special.

The Kooks - Konk

2008-04-28T12:13:00.007-04:00

I realize I'm not exactly cutting edge on this one, as this album has been out for like 2 weeks by now, but I just found it, and it's my blog, so I'm gonna write about it as if it were new.

If you don't already know The Kooks, they are quite fantastic. If you are a longtime fan of british pop, you might notice a similarity in name to The Kinks. If you are incredibly knowledgeable about The Kinks, you might notice that the title of this album (Konk) is the name of the record studio owned by Ray Davies. I didn't know that until I read it on wikipedia, so if you knew that off hand, a tip o' the hat to you.

The Kooks are also from the UK, and their first album was Inside In/Inside Out, back in 2006. I highly recommend that album, and you probably heard the song "Naive." They are classified as Indie, but don't expect Lifter Puller. The Kooks could never really call themselves edgy or inventive, but they do spin a very pleasing tune (Think Belle and Sebastian without all the prozac?)

I was very excited when I saw they had released a new album. I gave it a listen, and found it still contained the same charmingly unpolished british accent, the same catchy, jangling guitars, the same enjoyable hooks and catches that I liked so much from Inside In/Inside Out. I really like the album, and I want to write that it is amazing, but unfortunately it's not. Their sophomore effort doesn't break any new ground, doesn't bring anything new to the table.

If you have $7.99, go to iTunes and download Inside In/Inside Out. You won't regret it, even if you have to eat one less Qdoba burrito because of it. After enjoying the crap out of that album, go to the Kooks website (linked above) and listen to the sample tracks from the Konk.

My final judgement: Kooks, you are still awesome. I will continue to listen to your music and I will continue to enjoy it. However, I can't shake the feeling that you really phoned in this album, so please, for next time, bring the heat and impress me.

(Though, if you make another "same" album, I'll still really like it.)

And Then God Said, "Let There Be Legos"

2008-04-23T20:57:00.008-04:00

And yea, there came to be many colored plastic bricks. They were of compatible sizes, and able to be connected. And God said to man, "Be creative, and build many silly things. Fill the basement, and make a mess." And it was so.

It's quite obvious that there is an unemployment problem in this country. Otherwise, who on earth (or in the Heavens, for that matter) has enough time to do this? Incredibly entertaining, and apparently, you can buy them as books!?!? Wow. I should warn you, however, the Scripture has some rather objectionable material. Browse at your own risk... biblically speaking.

THE BRICK TESTAMENT

The Art of the Cover

2008-04-21T22:05:00.009-04:00

It's time for Music Mondays again! Rather than make a band suggestion, I'm going to take this time to discuss one of my favorite things, musically speaking: Covers. Not cover bands, which are about as common as a GCD progression, but the well-made, reinvented, not-the-original, brings-something-new-to-the-table cover, which is about as rare as, well, Common.

You almost definitely would have heard of all of these songs, at least in their earlier forms. Take the top-selling album of all time, Thriller. You've seen the video, probably can do part of that famous dance. But have you ever heard Ian Brown's version? And while we're talking about the King of Pop, what about Chris Cornell singing Billie Jean?

Sometimes, you have a cover that changes the way the original is performed. Mick Jagger is famous for his showmanship, but after watching the way Otis Redding covered Satisfaction, you can't help but wonder where the Stones front man learned his moves. Other times, the song isn't changed all that much, but the performer and the choreography completely change the way you think about it. The best example of this that I know is Shirley Bassey covering Jim Morrison.

If you were alive in 2003, you knew what it meant to shake it like a polaroid picture and what exactly is cooler than being cool (ice cold). However, when you give those lyrics to Mat Weddle of the band Obadiah Parker, it completely changes.

I leave you with a bluegrass version of Led Zeppelin - When the Levee Breaks, a flamenco Paint it Black, and Franz Ferdinand playing the Beatles. Enjoy!

If you have any favorite covers that I missed, let me know!

KaBoom

2008-04-17T23:14:00.004-04:00

My good friend First Tiger and I used to talk about Michael Bay movies and his particular trademark effect. No one has ever been able to get as much out of a few packs of SFX explosives, to make a simple car fire turn into an armageddon-esque monstrosity. As shown in this commercial, he seems to have recognized his particular idiom, and he's clearly using the right word to describe it.

High Fives Are Awesome

2008-04-15T23:04:00.005-04:00

This Thursday is the third Thursday in April, which can only mean... drum roll....

badumdumdumdrdrdrdrdrbrbrbrbrbrbrbbr

National High Five Day!

Ka-psshhhhh

Thats right, this Thursday IS National High Five Day! If you've never celebrated this fantastic holiday before, it's quite simple. When you see someone (anyone) give them a high five. Walking down the street, at work, in class, in bed, anyone you see, put your palm up and do a co-operation clap.

You will notice that if you participate actively in NH5D your day will be that much more awesome.

For more information, check out this website or look at this youtube video.

Air Traffic

2008-04-14T23:24:00.008-04:00

This is the first edition of a new regular feature here on Things That are Awesome. For the purpose of catchy names and alliteration, we'll call it "Music Mondays." Basically, I'm going to talk about a band, an album, a really cool song, or something like that. It might be a new band, and my review will help launch them to stardom, or it might be an old, but unappreciated band.

The inaugural band of Music Mondays is Air Traffic. They've been around for a little while, but they are from that part of the world known as Bournemouth, UK, and I don't think they have really made it across the pond yet.

What I believe is their first album (or at least their first on any sort of wide release), Fractured Life, is a pretty solid offering. I'm going to classify their sound as piano-driven indie-rock. Think Coldplay, with more guitar, less whining and more awesome.

I recommend Never Even Told Me Her Name (track 8), Charlotte (track 2) or Shooting Star (track 3). And when they explode all over the radio, you can say that you heard about them here first.

---

UPDATE: click here to get a 5 track sample from them for zero dollars!

The letter of the damn law

2008-04-08T01:50:00.005-04:00

I feel bad not having any sort of picture to go with this one, but that does not make it any less Awesome. An old serbian man recently suffered the pain of divorce. Like so often happens, he was ordered by the court to divide his assets with his now estranged wife. Rather than go through the hassle of arbitration to decide who got what, he took the much simpler, but time honored Solomon method.

It kind of gives new meaning to term "bifurcated trial."

Anyway, here's to you, Branko Zivkov.

Word of warning, Branko... read this article before you make your next move. It could be dangerous.

UPDATE: We now have a picture!

A little early to call it...

2008-04-06T17:43:00.009-04:00

I don't get to do this very often, and really, saying things like this have no meaning until August, but...

If things stay as they are right now, the Baltimore Orioles will win the American League East!

(woooo!!! yeahhhhh!!! rahhhhh!!!)

Thoroughly dominating their competition, the O's have returned to the "Oriole Way" and have a winning percentage .371 higher than last year's world series winning Red Sox and .300 over the evil empire Yankees. If we keep up this pace, the Birds will win over 100 games, Dave Trembley will be a shoe in for Manager of the Year, Camden Yards will undoubtedly host a few world series games, and given the recent performance of the NL, you can pretty much pencil the Baltimore Orioles as the 2008 world series champions. How awesome is that!?!?

.... if only this lasted more than a few weeks a year.

Baby Jude

2008-03-18T13:33:00.004-04:00

Things that make this video awesome:

1. This kid does not speak english.

2. This kid is only 4 years old.

3. He even gets the yelling at the end right.

4. The guitar. Yeah, he can't really play it, but you can tell he wishes he could.

I highly recommend watching all his videos.

A quote from his youtube page:

"He just learned the songs by ear by himself and for his own amusement and after two months he finally managed to sing all 27 songs on The Beatles "1", though his pronunciation as a non-English speaker is a bit poor!!!"

Numchucks AND Double Numchucks!!!??!

2008-03-12T17:51:00.006-04:00

I really can't even begin to describe this accurately, but I'll give it a try. Imagine combining Rex-Kwon-Do, Dr. Zeltzer from "Scrubs," the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, and a really bad infomercial. Except make it more creepy, more campy, take some bad photographs and put together a website based on this theme.

You might, with the help of some middleschoolers on vicodin, come up with this.

The only question is whether you want the 1 million or 2 million dollar course.

Really, you should just click here.

Internet + nostalgia = awesome

2008-03-10T02:39:00.006-04:00

So, some rather ADD enhanced searches of mine brought me to the following little story, which contains almost more awesome than I am able to handle right now. If you never read the Encyclopedia Brown books as a little kid*, than you don't know that these are totally awesome mystery stories in which a boy solves the little "crimes" of the neighborhood kids for 25 cents a pop. If you don't know what wikipedia is*, it is an online encyclopedia that anyone can edit, allowing it to be constantly updated with the freshest, ripest information.

Someone has taken the time to merge these two things together, updating a classic series of children's literature to be more accessible to today's modern, tech savvy brats. Hilarity ensues.

Wikipedia Brown and the Case of the Captured Koalas

*in all fairness, if you don't know what these two things are, you probably won't find this story to be awesome, only mildly amusing.

Excuse me sir, you dropped your button

2008-03-05T01:31:00.002-05:00

So, this is totally, outstandingly awesome. I was watching the Simpson's whilst at work the other day and suddenly I notice something in the background. At first it struck me as wrong, but thanks to the glory of the inter-net, I was able to go back and watch the frame again. I hit printscreen to capture the moment, and I present it to you below.

Yes, that is the Button, proving for once and for all the "Springfield" is actually West Philadelphia, and we can count Marge Simpson as a famous UPenn Alumna. Of course, the next scene shows the Seattle Space Needle, but whatever. Go Penn!

Would Somebody Please Remove These Cutleries From my Knees

2008-02-27T06:04:00.002-05:00

So, this is something that I've been meaning to do for a while now. I'm not quite sure what direction this little space of the blog-o-web will take, but for now it will be a place for me to post, as the title suggests, things that are awesome. This may be as pedestrian as youtube videos and flash games or as profound as... well, nothing immediately comes to mind.

To kick things off, if you haven't yet, you really need to start watching Flight of the Conchords, New Zealand's 4th most popular digi-folk paradists. This is a clip from their HBO series, and as you can see, these guys aren't afraid to tackle the important issues. The next season starts sometime in March (or so they say), but that should give you time to get somewhat caught up. Enjoy.